


Sensory Deprivation

by stealyourfood



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Eventual Happiness, F/F, Soulmates AU, denial but also yearning, description of the taste of blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:53:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25364914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stealyourfood/pseuds/stealyourfood
Summary: They say that when you meet your soulmate, you can taste the spiciest chillies and the sweetest of nectars. You smell the fragrance of flowers blooming, and retch at the putridness of rotting garbage. When you meet your soulmate, you see the cerulean sky above, and the redness of their cheeks as you touch. At least, that’s what they say.They don’t tell you that your soulmate has to love you for you to forever wince at the sour zest of a lemon, to breathe in the saltiness of the sea.They don’t tell you that if you don’t love your soulmate, not even a bit, the world remains a dreary sea of grey once you stop touching.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 147





	Sensory Deprivation

* * *

They say that when you meet your soulmate, you can taste the spiciest chillies and the sweetest of nectars. You smell the fragrance of flowers blooming, and retch at the putridness of rotting garbage. When you meet your soulmate, you see the cerulean sky above, and the redness of their cheeks as you touch. At least, that’s what they say.

“Whoa, Catra, your eyes.” It’s a harmless exclamation, but Catra leaps at Kyle, seizing him by the collar.

“What’s wrong with my eyes?”

“N-nothing! They’re just… different colours.”

“It’s a disease. Shadow Weaver said it.” Lonnie mutters, and Catra drops Kyle.

“How dare you.” Catra growls. She swipes at Lonnie furiously, dragging long claws against skin. Lonnie cries out, and Rogelio stands between them, shaking his head. He’s always been so peaceful, and it pisses Catra off. Everyone’s so happy now. She’ll never be happy. She knows it, she knows what people think of her, that she’s

_Different._

“HOW DARE YOU!” Catra yells. Her eyes sting with bitter rejection. “You’re just being so cocky because you can see-” She kicks Rogelio, who doesn’t move, “-and smell, and taste now, huh! Must be great!” She storms off after Rogelio stands, unflinching.

She doesn’t see him fall to his knees as she leaves.

* * *

The Fright Zone has grown more crowded after the merging of three camps. Catra sits by herself, the rest of the recruits avoiding her after her outburst.

It’s nothing new, she thinks as she takes a bite of the dry, crusty ration bar. The background chatter catches her attention, and she scowls.

”You’re right, the grey bars taste so much better.” “The brown ones just taste disgusting the longer you chew.” “I never thought tasting was such a curse.”

She glances at the other tables, and then looks down at her own plate. They’re all the same, they’re all grey, and she doesn’t understand. Maybe she won’t. It’s been so long, and maybe she doesn’t have a soulmate. Maybe Shadow Weaver is right.

She’s _different_ , and she won’t ever find someone.

“Hey, can I sit here?” A plate slides down in front of her before she can answer, and she looks up, irritated at the intrusion. It’s someone from a different camp – the colour of her uniform is a different shade of red. Catra has never seen her before, not even during junior cadet training.

“I’m Adora.” The girl with the ponytail, and ridiculous hair poof stretches out a hand, and Catra bats it away, shutting her eyes.

In that instant, there’s a savoury taste in her mouth. It’s just a split-second, but she tastes food for the first time. It’s a strange sensation, and she chews the remaining bits, trying to squeeze out more flavour.

It doesn’t work, and Catra swings her head to face the stranger – Adora. She doesn’t seem to notice anything out of the ordinary, and digs into her own ration bar.

“No way.” Catra mutters, and stands up, shaking. She throws the rest of the ration bar away, trying to memorise how Adora, how her soulmate looks. She slips away from practice for the day, and only returns to her bunk at night.

“Oh. Catra.” It’s Lonnie who speaks, still cross but always willing to move forward. Her forearm is bandaged, and scratch marks stretch across her cheek. “There was an announcement during practice. Something about a shift in sleeping arrangements.”

Catra curls up in the corner of her own bed, the frame screeching and creaking under her weight.

“About time, maybe I’ll be able to sleep better without this rickety mess.” The thin blanket drapes over her head, and Lonnie speaks again.

“You know, you’ll find your soulmate eventually. Or soulmates.”

Catra doesn’t reply.

Lonnie gives up. “Goodnight, Catra.”

* * *

The next practice, Catra realises with horror, is a merged session. The list of timings and rankings are updated, unfamiliar names scattered throughout. The only constant is that Catra’s name is at the top, as it should be. But right beneath her name?

“Adora!” Catra hears Kyle call out, and sees him waving to the girl with that obnoxious hair poof.

“Hey, Kyle.” Adora notices Catra staring. She waves, and Catra sneers.

“Do you have a soulmate yet?” Kyle asks bluntly, and Catra pays closer attention, her ears keening.

“No. How do you- how do you know?”

“Well, Lonnie slapped Rogelio and I when we were younger, and we could suddenly all see colours and smell.”

Catra still can’t see anything past her monochrome world, but she hears Adora’s laughter, and for a second, thinks she _can_ perhaps see colours.

“It was pretty funny because Lonnie didn’t like us yet so I thought I was imagining half of what I tasted. But after we hung out more Rogelio started complaining about the locker room smell and we just knew.”

“Huh. Wait, does this mean-”

Catra slams her locker door shut, not wanting to hear more.

* * *

**They don’t tell you that your soulmate _has_ to love you for you to forever wince at the sour zest of a lemon, to breathe in the saltiness of the sea.**

* * *

They reshuffle the teams, and Catra finds Adora in her group. It’s a perfect opportunity, Catra thinks, as she swings her staff, leaping to a high vantage point the moment the buzzer goes off. She watches the team struggle, with the exception of Adora, who is jumping, spinning, and striking with amazing precision. As expected of someone who ranks right below Catra.

“She’s a threat.” Catra crouches, her muscles tensing as she springs downward, her staff piercing the bot from above. Adora is in front of her when she lands on her feet.

“Nice work.” Adora starts, but Catra tackles her to the ground, grunting as she digs her claws into flesh. Crying out, Adora lands a solid punch, but Catra holds on tight.

“There’s only one candidate for Force Captain here.” Catra bares her fangs, pinning Adora down. The girl beneath her goes wide-eyed, and Catra realises Adora has blonde hair. She tastes iron in her mouth and smells the smoke from the smouldering practice bot, and releases Adora without a warning.

As she drops Adora, the world falls back into a grim monochrome, and she feels, but does not taste the blood. They remain frozen until Adora moves, reaching for Catra’s hand gently, and her pleading eyes turn blue again.

“You’re my soulmate?” Adora questions, her voice wavering and hoarse. She glances around, her hands still gripping Catra’s. The green hexagonal floor pads, the bright red of the Horde’s symbol, the dark black hair of Catra’s hair, and-

“Your eyes.” Adora breathes out, and Catra flings her off with an angry yell.

“I’m not anyone’s soulmate!”

It’s a lie. The metallic tang, the sharp smell of sweat mingling with carbon is enough proof that she is loved. She thinks of Kyle’s story. Do soulmates fall in love that easily? Because Catra doesn’t. She’s not ready to.

“Do you see colour still?” She snaps at Adora, who looks completely devastated.

“No. I don’t get it, I thought soulmates love each other. I thought-” Adora reaches out, and Catra is tempted to catch it. “I thought we were meant to be.”

She turns away instead, feeling as though she might throw up. “You thought wrong.”

* * *

**They don’t tell you that if you don’t love your soulmate, not even a bit, the world remains a dreary sea of grey once you stop touching.**

* * *

“You met your soulmate a few days ago? That’s so cool! I wish I could meet my soulmate too.” Catra’s new roommate, Scorpia, is a bubbly, chatty woman with large red claws. She’s obsessed with soulmates, and it’s Catra’s mistake for telling her to ‘keep her red claws to herself’.

“Oh! Tell me, what colour is my hair!”

“White.” Catra entertains Scorpia, because she knows how it felt to live in a world devoid of three senses. And at least Scorpia is one of the few people who leaves her insecurities alone.

“Oh that’s so cool! Hey, wait, that’s just like how I see it usually. Oh, oh! Is it true? That once you meet your soulmate, the world changes forever?”

Too soon.

Catra bites her lip, and Scorpia notices her tense posture.

“Oh, Catra. Does your soulmate not like you? Wait, do you not like your soulmate?”

“I don’t know. Hey, you’re from the same camp as the second rank. What’s her deal?” Catra switches topics and Scorpia goes along with it.

“Oh, Adora! She’s amazing, she loves everyone and everyone loves her. She’s always nice to everyone, including me. You know, when I was little, I tried touching everyone to see if they were my soulmate. That didn’t turn out so well, claws and all, haha. But Adora was nice. I nipped her and she didn’t yell at me. That’s how we became friends. She’s really tough and I’ve never seen her get super mad or cry. All smiles.”

Scorpia continues singing praises, and Catra scoffs, burrowing under her blanket.

“Yeah, you sound like you want her as a soulmate.”

Scorpia gives a slight chuckle. “Well, I mean, she’s really great. I think she’ll be an awesome soulmate but we just aren’t meant to be. I sure hope she finds her soulmate. She really deserves to. She's so loving, it would be great if she found someone who loves her.”

* * *

Catra finds out that guilt has a taste, and it’s horrible. It lingers on her tongue, and is finally released when she slams her plate down beside Adora.

“Hey. Adora.” Catra almost barks out Adora’s name for the first time in two weeks. Shadow Weaver had punished her for skipping all those training sessions, but she needed the time.

“Catra?” Adora turns, and Catra notices how red and swollen her eyes are. She knocks their knees together, and watches Adora’s eyes light up slightly.

“It’s only far that you get to experience this.” Catra mumbles and realises that Adora smells like fresh wood. She takes another sniff, and Adora mimics her.

“Oh. You smell sharp. Pine?” Adora blurts out, and Catra snorts.

“It’s mint.” Catra corrects, remembering how Lonnie described her.

“Oh. It’s nice. This is nice.” Adora wipes her eyes, and Catra allows their knees to remain connected.

"Don't get too used to this. I'm not doing this because I like you." 

Catra tears her gaze away before Adora can say anything.

* * *

Adora is persistent. More tenacious than Scorpia in a sense, she refuses to give up on Catra. Every morning, she greets Catra without fail. Before practice, she requests for Catra to be her warm-up partner. She doesn't knock down Catra's walls, but gently taps on them. 

However, forging a relationship takes mutual effort.

And so, when Catra kicks down a wall, Adora is pleasantly surprised.

"Hey, Adora." Catra approaches Adora first. "let's go grab the gray ration bars before they run out."

"You mean, the both of us?"

"Uh, yeah, I don't see another Adora." Catra pulls Adora up, and the burst of colours Adora's world again. It's not as shockingly vibrant as the first few times, and Adora wonders if it's just because she's getting used to it. 

When they finally sit at their table triumphantly, the gray slabs on their trays, Adora notices Catra sitting closer to her, their thighs touching.

* * *

They're almost inseparable now.

Catra will not admit it, but she anticipates Adora’s presence at every turn, be it practice, breaks, or even just outside the showers. In fact, she ends up waiting for Adora after every session.

It’s the first time Catra purrs out a gentle “Hey, Adora.”

Adora jumps, and whirls around, surprised by the pleasant tone. Her cheeks and ears burn, and she shoves Catra playfully. Catra retaliates, laughing in glee, and even as they part, Adora sees colour, for just a brief moment as they lock eyes.

“Oh, I knew it.” She smiles, and it’s a pure, gentle one radiating so much warmth that it stuns Catra.

  
“Your eyes."

Catra freezes, ready to lash out, to back into a corner, to scream, but the way Adora looks at her...

"They’re beautiful.” She chuckles, and Catra blinks rapidly.

"Yours aren't bad either." Catra mumbles and flushes, stumbling out of the locker room hurriedly.

From then on, Adora starts seeing colours at random intervals. She notices her own blue eyes in the mirror for a few seconds. She recognizes the dark red of Shadow Weaver’s outfit and Scorpia’s claws. She sees the green flash as the stun batons activate.

And whenever she looks at Catra, catching her little quirked smirk, she sees blue and yellow eyes.

* * *

They sit even closer during break than before, their shoulders kissing, their knuckles brushing, sometimes playing footsie under the table, and Adora is hyper-aware of the disgusting taste of the brown ration bar.

“Here. I wanna eat the brown one today.” Catra says, grabbing Adora’s plate and scarfing down the disgusting lump before Adora can protest.

“But you like the grey one.” Adora giggles as Catra swallows the last mouthful, pushing her own tray towards Adora.

“Shut up and eat your favourite bar.”

* * *

Catra sneaks into Adora’s room. An easy feat, since Adora’s roommate is in the infirmary. A total coincidence.

“Catra? This is a surprise.” Adora rubs her eyes sleepily, and crawls out of bed, flicking on the lowest light setting. Catra walks towards her, and crouches at her feet. Adora instinctively reaches for Catra, brushing her hair to the side absent-mindedly.

“Just… Give me a while.” Catra lets out a shaky breath, and slides away from Adora. Adora sits up, Catra’s somber tone worrying her.

She looks directly at Adora, “I finally realised.”

Adora sees Catra, her entirety in colour.

“I love you.”

And even though they’re not touching, Adora takes a deep whiff and smells sweet, refreshing mint. She smiles, aware of the saltiness dripping down to her lips, and locks onto gorgeous blue and yellow eyes.

“I love you too, my soulmate.”

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> a bit choppy and I might revisit this when I can. 
> 
> as usual, you can find me at  
> [my writing twitter](https://twitter.com/souhiwrites)  
> [my main](https://twitter.com/stealyourfood)


End file.
